3 Conversations That Changed the Way I See the World

I used to think that big life changes came from dramatic events like quitting a job, moving places, etc. But the older I get, the more I realize: it’s the random, often quiet conversations that rewire your brain sometimes ...you know.

They don’t always come from people you expect, they’re not always deep at the time. But for some reason, they stick and because of that suddenly, you can’t unhear them.

Here are three of those conversations that reshaped how I see things and still echo in the back of my mind when I least expect it.

1. “You don’t have to be good at everything.”

This one happened during a lunch break, sitting outside on some stairs with a coworker. I was ranting about how I was falling behind. I wanted to be better at everything: better at work, more consistent with my writing, more disciplined with workouts, more of this that and the other.

She just sipped her coffee and said, “You know you don’t have to be good at everything, right?” I stared at her like she'd just slapped me.

She went on: “You’re putting pressure on yourself like you’re supposed to be a one-woman production team. You’re not. No one is. And no one cares if you’re not.”

It sounds so obvious, but I hadn’t fully realized how much I needed to hear that. This was early in my life and as I grew in age and experience I realized that this simple conversation calmed me and whenever I am starting to be in a rush I alway try to remember that I don't need to be good at everything but I can be good at searching for the answers that I need in order to solve challenges as I go.

2. “Most people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think.”

It started at a family dinner, the kind that’s meant to be nice until someone makes that kind of remark... about where you should be in life by a certain age, what kind of political views you should have... and in a room full of different opinions in terms of food and wine, it can turn awkward real fast.

One of my relatives made a really bad comment. Another took offense...tension...side glances. Then a super weird silence over dessert interrupted by cringe comments. You get the picture. Will not get into details anyway...

Eventually, apologies were exchanged. Everyone seemed to move on… or so we thought.

Fast forward a few months, we were at another family dinner, much lighter this time. But at one point, the same relative who’d made the comments started venting again. You could tell she was still carrying guilt, still replaying the moment, still convinced everyone was quietly judging her...I mean she did apologize but it seemed that all this time she was just struggling with her own thoughts.

Then a friend of ours, who’d joined us, said something that landed like a little wise advice: “You know, people don’t think about that as much as you think they do.” It wasn’t dismissive, it was exactly what she needed to hear.

We build entire stories in our heads about how people see us, assuming they’ve replayed that awkward moment a hundred times, analyzed our tone, judged our wording. But in reality? Most people are thinking about themselves, their day, their own missteps.

That moment made me realize how much unnecessary weight we carry, just because we assume everyone’s holding onto the same memories we are.

Now, whenever I start spiraling over something I said or did, I think of that friend’s voice: People don’t think about it that long, and just like that, the pressure lifts.

3. “You don’t need a big reason to be happy today.”

This one wasn’t even a conversation I was part of. I just overheard it. I was standing in line at this little corner coffee shop, half-awake, doing that early morning scroll on my phone while pretending I wasn’t eavesdropping on the two women chatting in front of me.

They were probably in their late 40s, both dressed in that effortless casual way, anyway.

One of them was talking about how her week had been nonstop chaos, kids, work and she said something like, “I feel like I can’t enjoy anything or be happy until I fix everything.”

The other woman, she just laughed a little and said, “You know, you don’t need a big reason to be happy today.”

I don’t even think she meant it to be profound, but it hit me to the heart.

She went on, still casual: “Sometimes you just get a good coffee, the weather’s nice, you smell good and that’s enough.”

I don’t know why, but I’ve thought about that sentence so many times since then.You don’t need a big reason to be happy today.

That overheard conversation reminded me:You’re allowed to feel good without a grand reason. Sometimes the coffee is enough.