The Secret to Feeling Truly Loved: What The Five Love Languages Taught Me

One day, while mindlessly scrolling through book recommendations, I stumbled upon a title that didn’t seem revolutionary at first glance The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. "Oh great," I thought, "another relationship self-help book." But something pulled me toward it.

This book didn’t just open my eyes it cracked open my heart in the best possible way. What if the way you show love isn’t the way your partner, child, or friend receives love?

That’s the central idea of The Five Love Languages. Chapman explains that we all speak different emotional “languages” when it comes to love, and when two people are speaking different ones, it can feel like the connection is lost even when love is there.

Here are the five:

1. Words of Affirmation - You feel most loved when you’re told “I appreciate you,” “You’re amazing,” or “I’m proud of you.”

2. Acts of Service - Love means doing the dishes, running errands, or bringing you soup when you’re sick. For example this how I feel loved.

3. Receiving Gifts - It’s not about materialism. It’s about the thought behind the gift “I saw this and thought of you.”

4. Quality Time - Undivided attention, shared moments, long talks. This is how some people feel most valued. This is definitely my love language.

5. Physical Touch - A hug, a hand on your back, a cuddle on the couch these gestures speak louder than words.

Reading this book made me realize something painfully honest: I was giving love the way I wanted to receive it, not the way my loved ones actually needed it.

It explained so much, the misunderstandings, the feeling of “Why don’t they appreciate what I do?”

The moment I learned my love language and theirs everything shifted. I started expressing love in their language. I stopped expecting them to read my mind and started gently explaining what I needed and our bond deepened like never before and here I am referring to my husband and family members.

Chapman makes a powerful point: real love isn’t just about feelings. It’s about choice and commitment. Even when emotions fade or life gets hectic, we can choose to love in a way that our partner understands.

That choice, over and over again, becomes the foundation of lasting, soul-nourishing love.

Practice daily. Love languages aren’t one-and-done. They’re daily practices, like watering a plant. This works with friendships, family, even coworkers. Everyone needs love in their own way.

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, unseen, or unsure why your relationships aren’t quite clicking, this book may be your map and if your heart is open, it just might lead you to the kind of love you’ve been dreaming about.

You can get the Kindle edition from Amazon - Here